7: From Introvert to Master Networker: The Surprising Strategies That Build Real Connections

Networking is really about the give to get. Attending events is critical to staying connected with your industry. But I know a concept of networking. It strikes fear into the hearts of, like, most people. And this is what we discussed. You're in a room full of strangers. You now have to introduce yourself to someone that you never met before. You have to try to make small talk. But I found something. I found over the years that you change your focus from what you can get from the event to what you can give. You're more likely to make more contacts. You're more likely to reduce your anxiety levels. You're more likely to get a better result. The give to get has been my motto.

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Hey, everyone. Welcome to the millionaire miles. This is your host, Joe Simon. I'm excited to jump into this episode today because I want to go over a couple of things that people ask me on a consistent basis about networking. I do attend a lot of masterminds. I do attend a lot of events where networking is a business. It's my major business, because it is something you have to do to help expand what you do. Now, look, I constantly seek to improve myself and my business, and I'm always alert to situations or experiences that can help me achieve that. You know, a few years back, I attended probably my first mastermind, more than a few years back, now dating myself here. But more than ten years ago, I attended my first mastermind, and I remembered one of the most key factors that I saw in a room of 60 people. There was 60 of us in a u shaped room. And, you know, everyone was a little nervous.

No one knew each other. We all kind of just sat around. But this gentleman walked in with his wife, and he introduced himself to everyone in the room. He said, hi, my name is Dan. And he introduced his wife, which I can't remember her name, obviously. Now, this is more than ten years ago, but what was great about this was like, I was, like, blown away by this. I'm like, wow, I want to be like, this guy. Later on that day, I went up to him and I said, dan, I gotta tell you, that was amazing, dude. I couldn't believe that you went around to all these people and you shook their head and you introduced yourself. I'm like, man, I wish I was like that. You can go to the show, be that person. I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, look, I get it. He goes, I'm an introvert. I'm like, you can't be an introvert. You're the most extroverted man I ever met in my life. He goes, no, seriously, I'm an introvert. He goes, I just force myself in these situations to act like my alter ego. And he goes, granted, I do have my wife with me, and it makes it a little bit easier as having a second person.

And I've used that strategy as well. Not using a family member, but I've used a co worker. I use an employee, and I found the person that would be the best person to take. Now, that person may not be at my level of energy, but that's fine because it's good to have a different energy. I'm gonna be honest with you. If I'm a male, I will always bring a female with me. Why? Because it breaks that ice. Because now I can talk to both sexes. I could talk to females more comfortably because they look at me as, hey, this guy is safe to talk to. Because there's a female wizard. Now, it doesn't have to be your wife or your partner of any sort for it. Just being a business associate. I'm telling you, this strategy has worked with me multiple times. I'm going to share with you one more strategy that I've seen as well. That worked really well. I saw this gentleman at another event, and when I saw him, he had three women with him. Now, they were dressed to impress. All three of them were dressed business attire. Again, this was an event that the majority were men. Back then, it was a sales and marketing conference. Majority of men. Now, here's this guy, and he has three women with him, and they worked for him in his company, and they had different titles. One was a VP of sales. One would be VP of marketing. One was a VP of product. But it didn't matter because he knew one thing that we all take for granted. And I want to put this out there, guys, because if we really think about it, this is just high school all over again. You want to talk to the cool person. You want to hang out with a cool crowd. Now, you may disagree with that but let's just be honest about it. The honest factor is when you're at these events, you want to have a comfortable conversation. You want to feel important. And if it's a guy that's uncomfortable, attractive woman is talking to you, all of a sudden you're like, man, this is great. I'm having a great conversation with this person.

I'm having a great conversation. She's making me feel good, and she's also intelligent and, oh, my God, what company do you work for? Great. How do I work with this company? The strategy was absolutely genius. Now, you may disagree with me, but I have not seen a strategy better executed in my life. This guy got so much business at this event, it was unbelievable because he had all these guys coming up to him saying, who are you guys? Because guess what? He stood out from the pack. The rest of us were just standing there, a bunch of dudes standing around, like, obviously well dressed. We're shaking hands or talking, you know? But again, here's a guy that stood out because he had three beautiful and smart women with him. He had people that just brought him outside of the fact. So now they were talking to him. And guess what these women did as they talked. Like, hey, did you speak to the owner of our company? And strategically, they would bring you back to the owner of the company, introduce you to the owner. He was like, hey, man, what's going on? It was so smart. Now, I have not mimicked this strategy over the years because I didn't have three people to go with, but I have tried it in the past with more than one person. I've tried in the past with two women with me. I've tried it in the past with two employees with me. I've tried it using holiday parties where we had different events going on. Obviously, my entire staff was there, women and men. I prepped them ahead of time. I would tell them, like, hey, if you meet somebody, bring them back over to me. If you meet somebody amazing or if there's somebody that you think we can do business with, bring that person back to me. So that was a strategy that we used.

Look, deep down, I'm always super nervous of what lies ahead. So when you're under pressure, I brainview to a very negative mindset. I understand that just was a doubt myself. I started thinking, do I have the right to even be here? I'm sure you're thinking the same thing. What do you think I am? Because that's the most common thing you will see from people when you're in a situation like this. So sometimes, you know, I go to these events, I'm jotting down notes. I've seen strategies where people take pictures, they take selfies of the person they met. So they now have a name, a picture with the name, with the phone number as well. These are strategies that work as well. Right. But here's one of those strategies that I'm telling you that networking is really about the gibbs you get, right? Attending events is critical to staying connected with your industry. But I know a concept of networking. It just strikes fear into the hearts of, like, most people. And this is what we discussed. You're in a room full of strangers. You now have to introduce yourself to someone that you never met before. You have to try to make small talk. But I found something. I found over the years, if you change your focus from what you can get from the event to what you can give, you're more likely to make more contacts, you're more likely to reduce your anxiety. You're more likely to get a better result. The give to get has been my motto. Rather than saying to myself, what can I get from this event? My focus has shifted. My focus is now more of like a helpful motto. I go in and I say, how can I be assistant to someone else? Rather than getting something from somebody? It takes the pressure off me altogether. The pressure is now, hey, whoever I meet, can I connect them with somebody that I know? Can I do something for them? But now I can just be me. I can be relaxed, and it's an absolute game changer in the way I look at networking these days. I hope that little strategy gives you some insight about how I take off the pressure on myself. When you play this game, it's like, how are we going to help somebody? How can I say to them, what can I do for you? How can I introduce you to somebody else? Even if it's just acting as, hey, man, this is cool. Why don't we just hang out and have a good time together? Here's another thing, what not to do at a networking event. Now, recently, I attended an event, and this event was attended by medical providers, attorneys, AI solutions specialists, all types. And the man next to me introduced himself, right? And the first thing he said to me, he goes, hey, I'm an accountant. I'm like, okay. I'm like, what the hell is an accountant doing here? That's what we were trying to look back in my head, and then the guy, I'm like, all right. Conversation ended. After that, I'm like, oh, that's cool, you know, and that was it. He didn't say anything else to me. Later on I find out he's an accountant that specializes in working with medical providers.

Now you would have probably thought to yourself, well, if you got this event, most likely he is specializing. But think about this for a minute, guys. If we're at an event and where they're all professionals of some sort, if you show up and you say to anyone, hey, I do this, but this is my niche, this is my expertise. Now if he showed up and he said, hey, I'm an accountant. I'm an accountant for medical providers, and I can save you an extra 50,000 a year in taxes, you and I would both immediately agree that we need to talk to this guy. We need to find out, hey, listen, I know you only work for medical providers, but 50k in taxes, they do that. You're thinking the same thing I'm thinking. So that is one of the things that I want to share. So before you get, like I said, you have to give to get right. You have the ability to act as an extrovert just for the night, having the ability to share your expertise, but now narrowing it down and saying, hey, I do this and this is my exact thing that I do, makes a huge, huge difference. And finally, if you're looking to build your network, I cannot say this. More importantly, it's speaking on stage. Get on stage right. If you want to accelerate your networking event, don't just attend the event, speak at the event. Right now, you may not be a natural speaker.

I have found though that one of the fastest ways to either build a network or sell your product or to gain credibility when you're in that right room is basically being a guest speaker at the event. It's few value the efficiency. A speaker will fast track your networking efforts more than I almost any other method that I've just shared with you today. Everything else takes time. You have to break it down. Remember, you might be there for a weekend, you might be there just for the night. But if you can speak at this event, you just did ten meetings in basically whatever timeframe they give you. Speak because. Or you did 100 meetings or you did 20 meetings because think about it. You in front of everybody and you get to share that message. Do the math. It's basically the concept of one too many. It's way more effective. Your credibility is established and makes you the person to do it. I hope this really helps you guys on networking. I hope this information is something that you can share and use immediately. But this is more of a one to one podcast, not interviewing anybody on this one, because I realize most people have questions when they come up to me because they say, man, you've done so many events. You've done. You're part of so many masterminds. I figured, you know what? Walking on this millionaire mile thank you for this journey with me as I take my stroll to the park this morning and I figured, let me share this with you because this is something that I think would give you some value. Now look, if you like this episode, please share it. Take a picture of the screen, send it to me on my socials just so I know that you like this.

Thanks and talk to you soon. Thanks for listening. We hope these walks with successful millionaires have inspired you to take the next step in your entrepreneurial journey. No two stories are the same, and it's inspiring to learn from those that have walked the path before. To read full show notes for each episode, which includes guest contact information and ways to connect with Joe, visit themillionairemile.com.